though, before he took his stand again and proceeded to deliver one of the most noble speeches I've ever had the fortune to hear. He switched his cigar from hand to hand a good deal, which I judged help him balance his ideas. But all the same, when he had finished, one or two of the landlubbers jumped to their feet, protesting loudly. Then some others popped up and protested on behalf of the former. A mighty battle royal ensued, during which both sides and arguments were extremely difficult to distinguish. Generally speaking the Captain and his crew stood for the left wing, which I will call the port faction, and his opposition rested on the right wing or starboard faction. By and by the fighting wearied both factions, and soon the exponents of either side were singular--the Captain on the one and a staunch defender by the name of Snelzer on the other. This latter had on the most gorgeous neck-tie I have ever beheld, obviously intended to dazzle his enemy. The Captain vowed he would see his points through, while Mr. Snelzer owned as to how it must be voted on. They compromised: the Captain made his points and they voted in.

I left...still marveling at the Captain's eloquence. As I was passing through an alley, I saw a hideous insect, with more legs than brains, scurrying over the cracks in the pavement. I thought I would kill him at once, since anything that lived in this alley- garbage could not possibly be of value, but then I considered that you should not judge a man by his environment, and refrained.

Flotsam & Jetsam: A number of questions continually arise in regard to Foam-Fare's publication. There is no set date for printing the paper, so far it has appeared according to the editor's whim. This is not likely to change. I try to coordinate the issues with the monthly ABC's meetings...one to one. The printing is done through the courtesy of Brother Francis, DeLaSalle Collegiate and its facilities. New team captains are Mary Beth Ceresko, girls (obviously), and Mark "Mouse" Manrique, boys. M.B.C. is one of the famous Barbasol twins (red-white speedos); M.M.M. promised he won't get lost this year (since he's Captain, it'll be the team that's lost). I tried to reach him for an interview but it turned out he went to Kronk by mistake and I missed him.... To whom it may concern: Adolf Kiefer will line the transparent suits in the older division, see Mr. Enck. In the meantime, membership is open in the Polo Bare's (formerly Polo Bear's) Club. Send for free card and secret code ring today.

Contribution: the following is a poem entitled "Patton Prayer" contributed by Scott Johnson...age 11.