(Swimmers' resolutions, cont'd)

In addition to these sterling character builders, here are three cardinal rules for being a champion, donated by Patton's one and only, Joe "laughing boy" Fijolek (as revised this year):

Breakers: from the diary of Seaweed Sully (in the style of Mark Twain).

he hangover from St. Nick's day had scarce dissolved when ample reason for another came along. T'weren't New Year's however--that would be strike three. No, twas only strike two that happened up... something called the Patton Christmas Meet. Like a giant octopus, preparation for the affair extended its tentacles through time and space, into every phase of waking and sleeping, haunting dreams and nightmares alike for days on end. But at length a regular menagerie descended on the town, and I judged that the "human jungle" had nothin' on the "human aquarium." There were Marlins from Cincinnati and South Bend, Bulldogs from Livonia, Penguins from Royal Oak, Silver Dolphins from Shaker, O. Tigersharks and Golden Lions from Detroit, plus some other lions called the North York Lions who hailed from the Canadian wilderness. The talented coach of the latter, George Wiskin, allowed that he'd brought one of his "guns" down for the butterfly. I hated to tell him...but there wasn't any butterfly around! only a moth in the locker room, and not worth the trouble of swatting let alone shooting. He seemed happy enough, though, when one of his swimmers, Marianne Humeniuk, won two events, so I said nothing. There was lots of other excitement to stir the atmosphere and a might argument or two that had the usual two "sides" to them--"homo-cide or sui-cide." ...and a whole parcel of top swimmers was there, including Vicki Devore, Cynthia Goyette, Carol Granning, Bill Murtaugh, Dave Marker, Todd Mosenthal, Louise Kennedy, Rick Phillips, Steve Roxborough, Patti Rothwell, Bill Baird, Polly Fitzpatrick