Flotsam & Jetsam: Ever see Jimmy Ottinger coach his divers at Patton? He studies their reflections in the window panes. Says he gets three images that way. That's one way to triple your score. Tommy Szuba claimed he took 1st, second and third via the same phenomenon, but was disqualified for swimming in an eighteen lane pool........... "Gi-Gi" (Gary Gottschling) and "Greg the Great" (Golin), who weigh about as much as a pile of Speedo briefs, discovered why they are the team's fattest skeletons. For six months they thought they were drinking nutrament-- turned out to be metracal.............The New Year's #1 insurance risk is Mark Manrique, at present nursing a "broken blood vessel" in his arm. Despite the fact that he is made of plate glass with china plates in his jaw, Mark made high school all-american in water polo. He don't look Californian..........watch out for eight yr. old Gail Danboise. If she can't beat you swimming she'll beat you over the head with that second place medal she got at the Y.W.C.A...............Patton crew gave me a 3" diameter hot dog complete with candles on my birthday anniversary (you only have one birthday you know; the rest are anniversaries). I feel like that guy on the radio who stepped on a nail and now he can't get his mouth open..............Osborn and Patton got together for a scoreless dual meet, which gave both clubs a chance to qualify for Canadian-American times; state and nat'l records. Match races produced these state records from Osborn: Claudia Mazur (12) 34.8 50 br.; Bill Burke (14) 2:29.4 200 br.; girls 11-12 200 M.R. 2:15.3; and from Patton Tom Szuba (10) tied his state record 32.3 50 fly (31.7 in the Christmas meet); Gary Gottschling (12) 29.7 50 bk. and tied the listed nat'l record in the 100 bk. at 1:04.8 (1:04.0 in the Christmas meet. The next week they posted new listings and Gary slipped back to second place...........first act of an age group coach should be to tear up any copies of the Child Labor Act............Chuck Hines, Swimming World's polo editor is still turning out inspiration. Witness this: "The concept of sportsmanship says something idealistic about the individual: that he is important, that he is in command of himself under duress, that he can discipline himself. There are forces in our world that tend to reduce the importance of the individual, that tend to reduce competition and blend all of us into a nondescript mix, dependant upon each other for direction. Sportsmanship suggests that the individual can lift himself above the nondescript mixture through the development of his abilities and values.".............. George Wendler says he pares his mailing list to meet the law of supply and demand. Goes to show the candy store business is purely philanthropic--after all, what can you smuggle in bon-bons?...............John Savinsky says he'll be home soon (probably before this issue gets out) and wishes the best for his old Patton teammates........... Fred "Worth" (also spelled Wirth) is doing a remarkable job as State Records Chairman and deserves more cooperation on information sources than he is getting (take it from a prime offender). Organizing those times is like organizing a salmon run during the mating season............Speaking of State Records--or was it salmon--whatever happened to that Patton quartet who made a record? They were called the "Melody Relay" and they made the "Rolling Stones" look like they were gathering moss..........winner of the year's fashion award is Mrs. Hislop for the ultimate in orange and black stocking caps. Watch out for them planes looking for wind socks...........a thousand thanks to a thousand people for making the Christmas Meet a success. Ernie Ranspach, Tom McCallum, Mike Waraniak and the Patton staff and building personnel, Jimmy Moore and Ed Snelzer among others...and that Detroit News writer George Van: his pen is full of adrenaline for a sport that deserves a booster!...........got nice letter from Walt Schlueter at Arizona State University who blossoms every four years with Olympic qualifiers. If you look real hard you'll see his mark on more than one World Record holder..............At Ft. Wayne, Laura "Novacaine" Novac (10) hit 2:39.2 for the 200 I.M. and 38.1 for the 50 br.; Gary "Gi-Gi" Gottschling (12) had a 58.8 100 free and 34.7 50 br. I was sitting in the marshalling area with Gary just before the 100, when a 12 yr. old contestant looked my way. His jaw dropped and he asked incredulously, "are you only 12?" "Naw, I'm eleven," I answered. He turned away disgustedly with these final gems: "Gee, are you a monster!:.......... Christmas meet, also known as the "Crisis Meet," was a success all the way. Final score, Patton 456 1/2, NWAC 164, OSC 131, Etobicoke 112, Toledo Club 75, Golden Lions 70. State records were cashed in at almost every recognized distance. Good Patton times include: Joanne Scarborough 2:27.8 200 fly, 2:51.8 250 free (disq. in pre.),