Flotsam & Jetsam: Joe "laughing boy" Fijolek achieved the ultimate in laughs (har-har) when he drove his motorcycle through the 16 ft. plate glass window of a girls dormitory at Wayne. Joe (har-har) who likes to chuckle/laugh/bellow (choose one) at anything, anytime, anywhere was still (har-har) laughing (choke, sob) as he sat in the police car. He was laughing 'cause they'd already canceled the warrant out for his arrest on ignored traffic summons (har-har)...........looking for a good meet? One with select competition? Contact Mr. Devore, 348 Yarmouth Lane, Columbus 4, Ohio..........Carl Boyd-- nurtured for four years on a superb diet of pickles and milk--is back in action with a 1:58.1 200 free and a 60.5 100 fly. Doug Webster eased a 1:50.1 200 free and a 50.6 100. Beaten only by his potential......Mark Manrique in and out of the hospital again. A blood clot this time. Don't go near him. He's had so many X-rays he's radioactive......Canadian-American meet held at Stan Tinkham's place in North Virginia had all the excitement of an Age-Group Olympics. Bill Murtaugh, local talent from Toledo, set a nat'l age group record (boys 11-12) in the 100 free--54.7. From Patton, Laura "Novocain" Novak (10) did a 33.8 50 bk. (meet record), 32.3 50 fly , and 37.3 50 br. (first and two seconds). Ailing Gary Gottschling (12) managed a 30.3 50 bk. (best 29.0) but the water didn't cool down his 101 temperature. Got the scoop while I was there on Women's Water Polo from Tammy Hazleton (NVAC), Dale Barnhard (NVAC) and Elizabeth McCleary (KC). Elizabeth mentioned two other young ladies who play a dapper game of polo: teammate Dianne Fitzgerald and Lee Davis (Vespers) and something about a black eye. Vespers? Must've got hit with an oar...........latest Patton team victory came at the Golden Lions Meet. Christmas Meet heroes (and heroines) were at it again. Somebody lit another Yule log under them. Joanne "slipped-disc" Scarborough struggled through four events despite her injured back: first the State Record Women's Open 400 Med. Rel. of Mary Lou Shefsky (14), Joanne Scarborough (15), Alice Ceresko (13), and Carol Danboise (13) with a time of 4:34.1; then she won the 200 br. in 2:37.0 and followed up with two events in a row 200 I.M. 2:31.7 and 200 free 2:15.7. Teammate M.B. Ceresko had a 1:06.7 100 fly, 2:12.4 200 free, and 2:40.1 200 back. Dave Kee (14) had a 57.3 100 free and Greg Golin (14) won the 100 back in 1:04.7. Since then Greg has had a 1:02.7 100 back, 2:15.7 200 back and 57.5 100 free. Bill Beiser (13) and Bob Rienas (14) hit 1:11.2 and 1:12.2 respectively for the 100 br. While Bill was 1:07.7 on the 100 fly and Jim Teunas (13) 1:08.2. Mary Lou Shefsky (14) dropped to 2:33.0 for the 200 yds. back. Many other good times were recorded in the morning by the younger age-groups including 2 more Patton state records listed on the back page. Hiram Ohio and Shaker Heights brought more nat'lly ranked times and state records which are listed on the back page. Carol Danboise (13) also hit a 2:30 for the 200 meter free. Dave Kee (14) a 1:04.3 100 meter free; Bill Beiser (13) 2:58.3 200 meter breast; Bob Reinas (14) 200 meter breast 2:55.3; Mary Shefsky (14) 2:50.4 200 meter back; John Szuba 1:17.8 100 meter fly, 1:09 100 meter free; and Gary Gottschling (12) 30.3 50 meter free, 1:13.5 100 meter fly and 40.0 50 meter breast. Other good times include Bobby Koch (8) 1:22 100 free; Irene Silva 1:18.1 100 fly; Debbie Hislop 31.8 50 free; Renee Rienas 1:30.6 100 breast; Karen Hislop 1:22.2 100 free; Cheryl Kee (10) 32.2 50 free; Scott Johnson 1:10.1 100 meter free; Tom Silva 1:13.1 100 free; and 13 yr. old Alice Ceresko with a 2:29.7 200 fly. Linda Tyldesley (14) dropped her times also: 1:08.2 100 fly, 2:38 200 fly. The unfortunate thing about these lists is that they're never complete and lack of space prevents this.............Ernie Ranspach says them boy scouts are givin' him trouble. A troop leader walked in the other day and after thumbing through his manual, asked discreetly: "Is this a one- length or a two-length pool?"...........Joe Mueller has finally learned about those polo meetings at the "First & Last." He used to get taken for so many free beers we called him "Joe the Bartender." Now he stays home and listens to the "Fifth Symphony." That's something you listen to with a "fifth" in you hand............a letter each from Doc Councilman, Walt Schlueter, Ralph Wright and Stan Tinkham