"The Patton Chronicle"

Vol. I: No. 4

Editor: Tom Sullivan (charity accepted)

Contents

Breakers (big news)............................................................................helter skelter

Surf (small news)........................................................................................"

Spray (absurd news).................................................................................."

White Water (editorials)............................................................................"

The Bridge (Hauck's column)(also calumny).............................................."

Waves Dept. (calendar of events).............................................................."

Breakers & Surf: from the Diary of Seaweed Sully (in the style of Mark Twain).

Since my last entry in the diary, I have learned that there is someone else named "Sully," a tall, skinny fellow who swims breastroke like he'd spent too long in an elevator. Folks are constantly confusing us, asking me about his life, and I suppose he is always being called "Seaweed." I've learned that he is a worthless newsletter editor and because of this, no longer want to be associated with him. So let me disallow any relationship here and now. The Patton ABC meeting amused me so, that I reckoned to see more of them. As luck would have it, just such an affair was expected in Detroit the following weekend and so I went. This one was held at a place called Fitzgerald which is another of those buildings with a cement pond in the middle. The sign on the door read: "Doc Councilman's Swimming Clinic." Inside were a goodly number of the folk from Patton's ABC and a good many more were strangers to me. At about ten o'clock we crowded into a balcony overlooking the pond to await the guest of honor, who was not long in coming. Almost immediately his tall, somber form passed through the doorway and everyone grew quiet. He had a very calm look about him, sort of analytical, and his eyes seemed to gaze at you from somewhere back of his face. His three helpers were with him: a young boy (his son), a husky fellow who bore a slight resemblance to a polar bear with an Australian accent, and a lanky lad with a quick smile. They were as unlike as three politicians in an election campaign. If the "good Doctor" had intended to draw a relationship between swimming and a specific body-type, he killed his argument right there. The only thing they had in common was that they were very polite and smiled a good deal. It didn't take long to see that they were straight arrow. Two of them held world records, Kevin Berry and Ted Stickles, the other was on the waiting list. Well, I listened to this man, "Doc Councilman," for five hours Saturday, five hours Saturday night, and five hours Sunday, and never got bored. The first five and the last five were at this place, Fitzgerald, where he stood on the deck, surrounded by charts, people and paraphernalia. He used some of this equipment on the little children in the audience,

-1-

Next Page * Foam-Fare Index * Home Page