ATTENTION PATTONITES: A grave incident has occurred of which I must now inform you. Sometime ago, former Patton friends Stan Pantovic and Chester Hinez of Quebec (Montreal water polo team) sent a card to someone named "Tommy" Sullivan. My name being "Tom" and not "Tommy" I took it upon myself to write an official post office notice of incorrect address. In so doing I mentioned that our office had noted certain tax discrepancies in Mr. Pantovic's record. Witness their reply:
OFFICIAL NOTE OF PROTEST: FREE STATE OF QUEBEC
Att. Hon. Lyndon B. Johnson, President; Hon. Dean S. Rusk, Secretary of State; Tommy Sullivan, Esq., President Michigan Bureau of Inflammatory Incidents and Anti-Quebec Propaganda.
WE HEREBY ADVISE YOU THAT YOUR INTERFERENCE IN THE INTERNAL TAX MATTERS OF QUEBEC SHALL BE DEALT BY THE FOLLOWING RETALIATORY MOVES: (this last is in red ink--Ed. note)
I. Closing of our frontiers thus:
II. Further embarrassing said Tommy, by forcing his close kin, Silky Sullivan to return to the racing world.
III. Notifying our barber-agents to clip this nefarious man's golden locks.
IV. Declaring war on Patton Pool.
The forementioned can avoided if this international provocateur will immediately:
UNLESS THESE CONDITIONS ARE MET STIFFER NOTE OF PROTEST SHALL FOLLOW: Signed:
I ask you, fellow Pattonites: "Can you abide these edicts I have circled?" Now is the time for all good swimmers to come to the aid of their pool! Be advised that I have answered them already with a telegram and 2 notices (one from the UN in New York). As yet the cowardly dogs have been afraid to reply. We've got them on the run... let's keep them there! Let's have everyone on the team send a reply, even if it's just one work (ex.: "Ph-hht"). Send all nasty notes to: Mssrs. Chet Hinez & Stan Pantovic (miserable ministers) 1105 5th Ave. Verdun, P.Q. Canada
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