"The Patton Chronicle"

Vol. II: No. 7

Editor: Tom Sullivan (racked his brains in the pool hall)

More contributions from talented swimmers this month--both girls from NWAC. The first came from Sue Smith--a poem--in a letter with the following gag lines printed on the stationary:

"Sorry I haven't written lately but my time's been taken up traveling the Country participating in TOURNAMENTS! and after months of HARDWORK, PRACTICE and DETERMINATION, I finally made it last week... the GRAND NATIONAL GARGLING CHAMPIONSHIP! Last Tuesday night was the Big Gargle-off and Madison Square Garden was jammed! There were just TWO of us left in the finals. People were pushing and shoving to get a good look at our throats. I gargle with the AHHHHHH system...my opponent uses the EHHHUUHHHH system made popular by the famous Japanese Gargler of the same name. My opponent GARGLED first and did GREAT! The fans choked up!!! Now it was MY turn. You should have seen me!! AHHHHHHHHHH I had only five seconds to go for the championship!!.......and then it happened.....I sneezed! so what's new with you??

MY POEM (by Sue Smith) -- thoughts just before swimming in an important race in a tough 2-day meet)
    the meet is hard,
    the pool is deep,
    and yet tonight
    when I'm asleep
    I'll forget
    and yet
    when I awake
    it will be
    the same,
OUR SUMMER LOVE (or Misery Loves Company--by Sue Smith) (tune: "Old Mill Stream")
    Down by the ole Rouge Pools,
    Where I first met you(ll)--rime
    With your bloodshot eyes
    From the sun-streaked skies,
    It was there I knew
    That you finked out, too
    You did backstroke (repeat chorus)
    I nearly cracked (repeat chorus)
    Down by the ole-Rouge Pools
    (not the river, but the pools)


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