IF THOSE TWO DITTIES FAIL TO AROUSE YOUR POETIC MUSE HERE'S AN ENCORE:

Flotsam & Jetsam: Isometrics and assorted land exercises suffered a serious setback recently when Abdul "Woolly Bully" Sahagian spent two weeks following Jack LaLane on TV. Abdul is now a perfect 36-23-36... ..........Mrs. Sahagian claims some masher named Rick Skarbo has been making passes at her. "Mr. Sahagian please come home!".......... Lakewood, Ohio meet held four state records for Patton Tigersharks: Joanne Scarborough 2:27.6 200 IM; Gary Gottschling (12) 1:03.7 100 fly (best 1:03.5); 200 IM 2:20.8 (best 2:19.1); 200 free 2:09.5 (best 2:08.9). Same meet--Allard Hardy, a leader in Ohio's fine swimming organization for many years, induced swimmers to hurry to the marshaling area by announcing that "Tom Sullivan the Patton Coach would give a free milk shake to the first swimmer there." Thought that was pretty cleaver. Har- Har. Allard can be reached for a free swim suit at home between 3 and 4 AM any morning. Still the same meet; the following is an excerpt from a conversation held at midnight on a beach somewhere on Lake Erie, "What are we doing sleeping on this beach somewhere on Lake Erie," says Gary "Bullwhip" Cooke. "It's the good air," says Seaweed Sully. "Cough-Cough," says Rick Skarbo who is sleeping under a drain outlet in the cliff above. "That's the 'good air' getting to Rick," says "Bullwhip" Cooke. "Sully you're crazy!" "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha," replies Seaweed hysterically. "Look, a rat!" "Bullwhip" rises from his bed of rocks--"that's all, brother. I'm sleepin' with Szumski. We should've stayed on that football field." "Just a minute, I'll go with you," says Ron Boyd. Exit duet...........Two new Jr. Nat'l record holders from Patton are Joanne Scarborough 5:12.0 400 IM and Bob Moosekian 2:27 200 breast. Joanne had company among the six qualifiers; also in the finals from Patton were 14 yr. old Tina Solis (5:22) and M-Lou Shefsky (5:27). Bob Moosekian's teammates, Rick Skarbo (2:27) and Bill Beiser (14) 2:35 also qualified, while Tom Bates (2:29) was disqualified. Ron Boyd, Rick Skarbo and Bill Swistak of Patton all qualified in the Jr. Nat'l 100 free a few moments late with 52 pluses..........two new business outlets opening up. Tom McCallum will begin to handle all swimming lines of equipment and Lil Hancock is having a grand opening May 21 & 22 at her "Foreign Fantasy Gift Shop" 2911 Ford Rd. in Garden City............nothing funnier than the truth. Add one more name to that list of famous authors which thus far includes "Ants Oras" and "Dingel Foot." The new one is Prof. Zera Fink. Fink...that's right, Zera Fink. Actually his real name wasn't Zera Fink...it was Joe...........Ed Snelzer has completed another faithful season as swimming's most vociferous friend. Ed, who puts his vocal chords on the line at every meet, is a real "work-hoarse".............Patton won the Jr. Olympic meet for both boys and girls. Many state records in that one--new classification. Looking impressive again was Carol Danboise 2:15.1. 200 free........... toughest spot on the team to make balance-wise is the girls 13-14 100 back. There are seven girls in that listing between 1:10 and 1:14.0. Sharon Hancock leads with a 1:10.8 Sharon provided some excitement at the Lakewood Meet when she dropped her 200 IM 5 more seconds, got in a swim-off for 5th place, and won that (2:35) for another second drop. Then she came back to win the 100 free and get 3rd in the 200.. ...........GARY GOTTSCHLING--that's the name--two nat'l records in the backstroke